Is the river
She’s slipping away
She couldn’t live
Of the pain
That grew heavier
Her heart turns frail
She’s gone forever
First Steps in AutumnYour walking on the leaves now honey,
Watching the cars drive by on our street.
Crunch, crunch under your bare feet,
You giggle thinking the sounds are funny.
Smiling up at me, waiting for a response,
I smile back at you with warmth.
My camera is running to catch this memory,
Your first steps outside in Autumn.
You look up in the sky to see the clouds,
Then look back down at your feet.
You feel the wind blow your skirt around,
Wishing you could fly, but you keep it a secret.
Coming up to me for a hug and a kiss,
I put my camera down to grab you.
I pick you up with all my energy,
And I say to you, "Your perfect, just like this."
UntitledIt is torture to watch your eyes wander
The beauty they hold is much stronger
I am strong but weak when I feel less
I want to fix myself and not be a mess.
I never meant to get this way
My mind has been blank and I've been tired
I regret every day I am like this
I should remember this is how they are "wired"
Can't control what he feels for them
Young and pretty, full of energy.
But I am feeling broken, and unwanted.
I crave for compliments.
I do feel loved by him, and I feel his warmth
But I want the words he gives to them
The excitement that they bring
I want to bring to him again.
Is it that I have gotten old, and not a new look?
Do I need the makeup, the new clothes?
Work out more, be more, show more?
To get the compliments that he gives them?
Will being thinner, and wearing make up bring
The compliments that I have been waiting for?
Or would it be a waste of time
And he will just go back to his own thing?
I love him and never want to leave him,
I want him to be happy, even if he ha
remind me how
you remind me how to feel
you remind me how to tear
reminding me the fear
as you pull away my peal.
leaving me naked and cold
you remind me of the guilt
sitting here alone to mold
feeling my self wilt.
you remind me of the nothing
you gave as you pretended to care
those words you used to sing
listening while unaware.
you remind me of a disease
hard to cure but there is a way
just no guarantees
either I survive this or I'll decay.
you will survive because you have no soul
luring me once with your dark eyes
bringing me towards you like an magnetic pole
i can see behind your disguise.
Body Taken OverI am not feeling well
Going to have to puke
My head swell
Should have read a health book.
That I might die tonight
Made the wrong choice
Losing all my sight
And even my voice.
Getting harder to walk
So I just seem to fall
No way for me to talk
Have no time to stall.
I just lay here
Waiting for death
No one knew I didn't heal
My body taken over by meth.
I couldn't even write a letter
To say goodbye
But once I leave I will be better
I needed to die.
Liked to TeaseCrying myself to sleep once more
How much of this can I take?
Did you need to call me a whore?
They said falling out of love is a piece of cake.
It is now too hard to believe
That I can't stop these tears
Why was I so nieve?
Did I need to tell you all of my fears?
Now I am stuck
And you got me in your palm,
I am left with no luck
Its hard to stay calm
You always liked to tease
Then put me down.
Wish I knew you were a slease
So I wouldn't have wasted my time in this town.
But it is now way to late
And I need a gun.
Can't take away the date
But I can take away the sun.
I need the darkness,
To feel free from him.
No need to be in this mess,
It is time for my life to turn dim.
Walking Down The Deep Red...No One Knew Her Name
She Ended Up Forgetting It Herself
Going Home On A Rainy Day
Hard Rain Falling Down On Her...
She Feels Internal Pain
And There Was Never Any Point
For Her Feelings
She Started Them On Her Own.
Made Herself Stay Out Of The Crowd
Never Tried To Make Any Friends
It Was Hard For Her To Speak Any Words
Even When She Had To Perform A Speech For School...
Something Made Her Feel So Empty,
It Was No One Around Her,
It Had Nothing To Do With Her Family,
Just Deep Down She Felt So Lonely...
Walking Down The Deep Red Carpet,
Not What You Think,
She's At Her Own Funeral...
Wondering Where It Started, and Why It Had To End..
Wings Of Light
Wings Of Light
Upon me is the last dawn
Faded away has the last dusk
I leave behind all of the rights and wrongs
I don't deserve an afterlife that is also rough
Mesmerized in deep suspense
As I await the final arrival
My tears become so intense
These last moments of hope are vital
Allow me to break away
Accept the toll of my undying faith
I was careless as I fell
Mocking life itself
Every secret I held
Defined a broken side of myself
An inner slaughter I could not defend
A one-sided war that I could not fight against
My downfall is what I didn't want to prevent
I always lusted after the idea of my final descent
Because I knew that in the end I would ascend
All I can really do is live this divided life as best as I can
I realized that the only thing in perfection is being broken
And the only way to get rid of that is to wipe out my existence
Shine down and shine true
I will no longer be powerless
You don't know how long I've been waiting for you
Words To Ash
Words To Ash
My embers burn / A dark fire roars
My suicidal war / A blaze of words
I wrote this for you...
The old me really wanted you to read it
To tell you the truth...
Of how I came to be beyond broken
But I had to keep it
Because I'll never see you again
So my wounds remain hidden
A letter deprived of hate, I forgave us in vain
I'm trying to undo what you have done
Even if its just a placebo effect
This is me trying to “move on”
From this smothering resentment
Confessions turn into infernos
You crushed my faith
A villain disguised as a hero
My lungs starts to shake
The sinner is attending church tomorrow
While this saint is endlessly praying for strength
My soul surges / A red sky clears
My resolve emerges / A cure for tears
I've journeyed through the flames...
The new me knows the reasons for your trespasses
ugly consumptionmonday my little girl asked, "what would happen if someone ate
the sun and
how many calories does it have?"
and i wish i could see myself objectively, wish
my skin wasn't worn from
have you ever seen your
hands as i do, strange bloated things
in search of bones?
and i wish i could remember when beauty
was a mouth red as pomegranate seeds eyes
like sickle moons. back when it was
more than numbers. ninety-five, eighty-eight.
get down to eighty-five and you will be
thin and sexless as wet march.
tuesday pa told me: "acceptance ain't something you
can buy at a convenience store."
and i am all mass no energy
as if all this time i have been
thinking i am breathing city lights
but they are really just water. sorry,
sorry, sorry. i have
atlantis resting inside my lungs.
Lament of an AtheistI cut candles straight down their waxy center
just by looking into the flame. Slick peels of
honeycomb melt into my palm and blister skin.
Then the world ricochets forward.
I plummet back into my body and there's
a thick distortion in audio. A constant pulse at
the back of my eyes, tuned to the rhythm of your
heartbeat. I look for traces of you, but,
God, you're lost.
Leaves fall as paper lanterns from wooden fingers.
Spiraling upwards on the breath of cosmos, back
to Heaven, lit like the sun on a marvelous azure
backdrop. I needed your wisdom, but all is gone.
Christ, you're dead.
Atheists are not meant to love. Realists are not
meant for passion. Idealists are the dreamers
of their own demise; only they can make it
A man once told me that the astute make terrible
lovers, but I'll fight that to the bitter end. Maybe
the irrational are so hopeful in their wafts of
hallucination they cannot come to mindful conclusions
of their forsaken love.
There's a poet under my skin, itching
They Told UsThey Told Us:
They told us we weren't artists,
They said that we're just puttin' words on paper...
They told us we wouldn't make it,
Because language isn't unique...
Ta hell with them all I say,
Because I know tha truth they seek ta hide.
We're treated like third-rate artists.
Our hands can't create magical pictures,
We can't create comics ta make people laugh,
Or emotive portraits ta make em cry...
But what they don't see is tha title,
What they don't see is tha description,
They don't even see tha comments or replies!
They look only at themselves,
And at tha talent they seem ta proclaim.
It's like starin' at an old english aristocrat,
Ignorin' us simply because we're farmers.
But what they don't see are the words.
Words used ta give a picture context.
Withou' a title, a picture is just a mix of colours and lines.
Who could understand an image, withou' a title?
If art alone suffices, why not let every piece be nameless?
I'll tell ya the truth, separated from the
GlassI always laugh when you refer to me as glass.
Not just because of the way you say it,
Or because I know it's a crack at my fragility.
Glass is pure.
I am like granite -
my body nullified from too many clashing traits.
Glass is transparent.
I am like clay -
illegible from all the plastered smiles.
Glass is unyielding.
I am like chalk -
easily broken and scuffed away by meagre things.
Glass is hung up on walls and in great cathedrals,
tinted for enhancement, but only ever painted on by fools.
I am hidden behind keypads and camera lenses,
coated in a thick paste of deceptiveness.
No, my love,
I was never glass. (Despite my fragility)
Call me granite or clay or chalk
and be done with me.
A Prayer for the Scar Mappedi hope you find someone who loves you for your scars.
your scars are the battles you fought
alone, scared, broken at midnight
navigating the map of your lost soul,
wearing nothing but threadbare dreams,
with demons who would not die,
and who could not rest.
and still strong, you fought on.
i pray you find someone who loves you for your scars
your scars will tell the stories your lips cannot.
your scars will reveal secrets your heart cannot.
your scars will create meaning to the little things you do.
so find someone who loves you for your scars.
this is all that I can pray for, for you
and for you,
and for you...
I'm Fine, Trust me
It's just fine
Just stab me with that knife
I'm just fine
Rip my heart out when I'm alive
All that I see
Is you in my dreams
All that I see
Is that my heart is incomplete
It's just fine
My heart's made of ice
It's just fine
Just make me feel alive
BorderlineI dreamed once that I saw your face in
my mirror, rippling prolifically like
water on glass on my face,
and then I was drowning, and I
too fast into your watery eyes.
Without imagination, prosaically as you
could, you told me you
loved me and hoped we'd meet again
soon. I smiled, propri