Is the river
She’s slipping away
She couldn’t live
Of the pain
That grew heavier
Her heart turns frail
She’s gone forever
First Steps in AutumnYour walking on the leaves now honey,
Watching the cars drive by on our street.
Crunch, crunch under your bare feet,
You giggle thinking the sounds are funny.
Smiling up at me, waiting for a response,
I smile back at you with warmth.
My camera is running to catch this memory,
Your first steps outside in Autumn.
You look up in the sky to see the clouds,
Then look back down at your feet.
You feel the wind blow your skirt around,
Wishing you could fly, but you keep it a secret.
Coming up to me for a hug and a kiss,
I put my camera down to grab you.
I pick you up with all my energy,
And I say to you, "Your perfect, just like this."
UntitledIt is torture to watch your eyes wander
The beauty they hold is much stronger
I am strong but weak when I feel less
I want to fix myself and not be a mess.
I never meant to get this way
My mind has been blank and I've been tired
I regret every day I am like this
I should remember this is how they are "wired"
Can't control what he feels for them
Young and pretty, full of energy.
But I am feeling broken, and unwanted.
I crave for compliments.
I do feel loved by him, and I feel his warmth
But I want the words he gives to them
The excitement that they bring
I want to bring to him again.
Is it that I have gotten old, and not a new look?
Do I need the makeup, the new clothes?
Work out more, be more, show more?
To get the compliments that he gives them?
Will being thinner, and wearing make up bring
The compliments that I have been waiting for?
Or would it be a waste of time
And he will just go back to his own thing?
I love him and never want to leave him,
I want him to be happy, even if he ha
remind me how
you remind me how to feel
you remind me how to tear
reminding me the fear
as you pull away my peal.
leaving me naked and cold
you remind me of the guilt
sitting here alone to mold
feeling my self wilt.
you remind me of the nothing
you gave as you pretended to care
those words you used to sing
listening while unaware.
you remind me of a disease
hard to cure but there is a way
just no guarantees
either I survive this or I'll decay.
you will survive because you have no soul
luring me once with your dark eyes
bringing me towards you like an magnetic pole
i can see behind your disguise.
Body Taken OverI am not feeling well
Going to have to puke
My head swell
Should have read a health book.
That I might die tonight
Made the wrong choice
Losing all my sight
And even my voice.
Getting harder to walk
So I just seem to fall
No way for me to talk
Have no time to stall.
I just lay here
Waiting for death
No one knew I didn't heal
My body taken over by meth.
I couldn't even write a letter
To say goodbye
But once I leave I will be better
I needed to die.
Liked to TeaseCrying myself to sleep once more
How much of this can I take?
Did you need to call me a whore?
They said falling out of love is a piece of cake.
It is now too hard to believe
That I can't stop these tears
Why was I so nieve?
Did I need to tell you all of my fears?
Now I am stuck
And you got me in your palm,
I am left with no luck
Its hard to stay calm
You always liked to tease
Then put me down.
Wish I knew you were a slease
So I wouldn't have wasted my time in this town.
But it is now way to late
And I need a gun.
Can't take away the date
But I can take away the sun.
I need the darkness,
To feel free from him.
No need to be in this mess,
It is time for my life to turn dim.
Walking Down The Deep Red...No One Knew Her Name
She Ended Up Forgetting It Herself
Going Home On A Rainy Day
Hard Rain Falling Down On Her...
She Feels Internal Pain
And There Was Never Any Point
For Her Feelings
She Started Them On Her Own.
Made Herself Stay Out Of The Crowd
Never Tried To Make Any Friends
It Was Hard For Her To Speak Any Words
Even When She Had To Perform A Speech For School...
Something Made Her Feel So Empty,
It Was No One Around Her,
It Had Nothing To Do With Her Family,
Just Deep Down She Felt So Lonely...
Walking Down The Deep Red Carpet,
Not What You Think,
She's At Her Own Funeral...
Wondering Where It Started, and Why It Had To End..
End The Hate (Gay Rights Poem)I was walking with my husband,
During the month of May.
His name is Bobby,
And I'm Adam Galloway.
We were holding hands,
We were happy as can be;
And then we met a stranger,
And he said to me:
"Look here at the faggots!
You're ruining my path!
I hate you gay ass fuckers,
Now you'll feel my wrath!"
The man pulled out a gun,
He aimed it at my head;
Bobby jumped in front of me -
Poor Bobby is now dead.
I caught his falling body,
As the stranger ran away.
I lost the love of my life,
All because we're gay.
He risked his life for me,
For Adam Galloway.
His name is Bobby G.
He died for being gay...
I was eating with my wife,
We were on a date.
Her name is Sarah,
My name is Deven Kate.
We got kicked out for kissing,
So we approached our car;
And what we both had seen,
Was pretty bizzare.
Our tires had been popped,
Our windows had been smashed,
The back seat was on fire;
So we both had dashed.
We didn't get that far,
When a girl got in our way;
She said to us, "Now burn!
The Road Of Yesterday
The Road Of Yesterday
These closed eyes have wept
Over the pain I've kept
Accepting I'll always be far from perfect
I'm tired- just too tired
A moment of peace is all I desire
Too long have I tried; too long have I endured
I just want to collapse
And let these be my last footsteps
Allow me to go where all tears are sent
I've always been out of breath
But I still continued to tread
And I feared to look in the eyes of death
I'm sore- just so sore
A final sunset is what I selfishly yearn
Too long have I searched; too long have I resided within the eye of the storm
I refuse to ultimately break
I don't want to believe in the flaws of my faith
I won't be swallowed by this void that I have made
As I reach the end of my despair
I realized that life's fractures can be repaired
And when I shed that last tear I let go of my fear
Dear mother, dear father
Dear brother, dear sister
Don't worry, you still have each other
And without me you're all so much stronger
Leave me behind and let me go, I promise the days will get brighter
Dear teachers, dear counselors
Dear therapists, dear doctors
You have my gratitude for what you all did
But I hit rock bottom too many times, and this last one was it
The end of the road again, as if no one could have kept me from a coffin
I was not fit to live life
I failed at everything, every time
I sincerely did my very best, I really tried
I just could no longer stand feeling so powerless inside
I lay wide awake every night
I prayed and prayed and asked "why?"
I was always silently drowning in the tears I cried
I am done with suffering, so this is where I draw the line
This is the end
One with a resentful beginning
It all came crashing down to nothing
It's what's only right, so I know what I'm doing
Dear friends, dear betrayers
Dear relatives, dear des
LesbianGod loved the two girls at the end of my street.
Everywhere they went, they went together,
hand-in-hand so they didn't get lost,
laughing at everything and nothing
all at once.
He was so proud of them.
They never stole, they never swore,
they brushed their teeth twice a day
and always said their prayers.
It was a gift, said the townspeople,
that two girls as perfect as they were
were born in the same place.
an even greater gift, said they,
that those two were the best of friends.
Long nights spent giggling in rooms with closed doors
was a good thing, back then.
halfway between their houses
and in the middle of the street,
they realized that they loved each other.
A gaze lingered a moment too long,
a heart beat a little too fast...
They kissed for the first time on a park bench,
hidden from the rest of the world.
God doesn't love them anymore.
I'm Fine, Trust me
It's just fine
Just stab me with that knife
I'm just fine
Rip my heart out when I'm alive
All that I see
Is you in my dreams
All that I see
Is that my heart is incomplete
It's just fine
My heart's made of ice
It's just fine
Just make me feel alive
SLIPPING Slipping slipping
I almost had it right in my palms
AWAY Away away
My eyes open wide like my lungs
GASPING Gasping gasping
Accumulated back into this world as I awake
PAIN Pain pain
Gathering the moments of the dream before it fades
REAPING Reaping reaping
My desired world is always taken from me
FAITH Faith faith
I never wanted it to be make belief
FEELING Feeling feeling
That unaware sensation is being ripped
BLAME Blame blame
But it's as if I am the one that is torn to shreds
I'm liked at school.
But I'm hated at home.
I am kind, caring and active.
But I am greedy, selfish, and lazy.
I stay quiet most of the time.
But I am loud, screaming for attention.
I stay on everybody's good side.
But I stay on their bad side.
I try to stay good.
But I stay bad.
I smile at everyone.
But I cry alone.
Everyone listens to me.
But no one listens to me.
I am happy most of the time.
But I am depressed most of the time.
I listen to everyone.
But I listen to no one.
I try not to make mistakes
But I make mistakes all the time.
I tell the truth most of the time.
But I tell lies most of the time.
Everyone believes me.
But no one believes me.
I am surrounded by people.
But I am alone.
Words To Ash
Words To Ash
My embers burn / A dark fire roars
My suicidal war / A blaze of words
I wrote this for you...
The old me really wanted you to read it
To tell you the truth...
Of how I came to be beyond broken
But I had to keep it
Because I'll never see you again
So my wounds remain hidden
A letter deprived of hate, I forgave us in vain
I'm trying to undo what you have done
Even if its just a placebo effect
This is me trying to “move on”
From this smothering resentment
Confessions turn into infernos
You crushed my faith
A villain disguised as a hero
My lungs starts to shake
The sinner is attending church tomorrow
While this saint is endlessly praying for strength
My soul surges / A red sky clears
My resolve emerges / A cure for tears
I've journeyed through the flames...
The new me knows the reasons for your trespasses